In the last years I've experienced quite a lot that terrible feeling of not recognizing a person who once had a very important role in my life: friend, boyfriend, colleague and even parent...and I began thinking that all that time, spent with them, believing they were different was all a lie...that my life was a lie.
The person I am today wouldn't have accepted most of them and cannot imagine how they ended to affect me so much. But the truth is that disappointment changes everything. It makes me group people on behave of mistakes made by others and I know that's not fair but the instinct of self defense is stronger than anything else. I always say that it takes time and patience to know someone for real but I think I ran out of patience a lot time ago. This may explain the fact that all my close friends are those I had 10 years ago and since then the new ones were all just passing through.
I hate when people I used to trust disappoint me, from one reason or another. It was my fault too, because I am very demanding and maybe I ask people more than they can afford to give. So if I don't ask I won't get disappointed...perfect solution, right? I just have to figure that out.
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